Principal's Piece
We all make mistakes from time to time: calling someone by the wrong name; misreading your timetable; forgetting to attend a meeting. These are easy to recover from - a quick apology, reset and we can get on with our day.
The really big stuff-ups are much more interesting. Not so much for what happened, but what happened next - the response. On the sports field, a defender is under pressure and they pass the ball back to the goal keeper, only it's a poor backpass, and an attacker pounced on it and scored. Or, a conversation has turned from friendly to niggly and feeling picked on, one person lashes out, saying something much more than just unkind - perhaps betraying a personal secret. Or on the road, a driver is distracted by their phone and fails to react to the danger ahead in time.
There are two types of mistakes - ones we make when we are still learning or trying something new, and the ones where we should know better. For the purpose of this talk, I wish to focus on the second kind, where we let ourselves down by doing something we know is wrong. Wrong in the sense of harmful, hurtful, dangerous, careless. An action that has negative consequences for ourselves and for others, whether we were thinking about that or not at the time.
During adolescence, you are prone to making quite a few mistakes as this is the time in your life when you seek to be more independent, making your own choices. Your upbringing has instilled in you a number of values and behaviours and now you are applying that guidance on your own. Of course you are going to muck it up once in while. But what are you going to do about it? How are you going to respond?
Feelings of shame and embarrassment are a good sign. They indicate that you know you let yourself down and acted without integrity. But covering up that shame with lies and blaming others is a poor response. The correct thing to do is to take responsibility. Acknowledge the harm you have caused. Apologise with sincerity. Try harder to do better.
When you realise that you have made a mistake, take a moment to think about what contributed to the event. What could you have done differently? Focus on the choices YOU made rather than thoughts like “he made me do it.” Take time to consider how your choices made other people feel. This reflection will help you to be better prepared next time.
Take the opportunity to apologise for what you said or did. Tell the person that you are sorry for the harm you caused. Let them know how you intend to be better in the future. If it is appropriate, try to make amends by putting things right - restore what was broken.
It will take some determination to make changes in your behaviour. Recognise that you have let yourself down and then act with resilience and a growth mindset to avoid repeating those mistakes. With patience and practice, you can develop into a person who makes fewer mistakes, and manage new ones responsibly.