Culture Shock
Have you ever felt like you didn’t belong in a new place? Culture shock happens when people experience
uncertainty, confusion, or anxiety as they adjust to a new culture, especially when they move aboard or study
in another country. It happens to many international students. But what does culture shock actually feel like?
And how can we overcome it? When I first came to New Zealand, I experienced cultural shock myself. At first, I
thought I was just homesick. But now, I understand that it was more than that. It was a culture shock, and I
think it is something many people have to go through when they move to a new country.
There are five states of culture shock. The first state is the Honeymoon stage. This is when you feel very
positive, curious, and excited about all the new experiences. You might even think that everything about the
new culture is amazing. For me, this stage lasted only about three days. But to be honest, during those three
days, I didn’t really go anywhere. I mostly just stayed at home, so there wasn’t much to experience yet. So,
let’s move on to the next stage, because that was when the real journey actually began.
The second stage is Irritability and Hostility. This stage started after I began going to school. I was exposed to a
lot more of the kiwi culture and started meeting more people. I noticed that students here had different
personalities and ways of interacting compared to what I was used to in Thailand. This was definitely the
hardest stage for me. I felt confused, frustrated and I cried almost every day for about two weeks. I missed my
home and my family. I was cold, I missed Thai food, and I wanted to eat something with more flavor. I also
didn’t understand some parts of the New Zealand lifestyle. I remember thinking, “Why don’t weekends
actually feel like a break?” My host family often took me walking in the bush on weekends. Sometimes when I
stayed home because I didn’t have school, my host family would ask me why I wasn’t going out with friends or
finding something to do. This doesn’t happen only with me. I asked my international friends and they said the
same. I didn’t understand it at first because it was very different from what I was used to in Thailand.
One of my biggest challenges was English. I wasn’t very confident speaking English yet, and New Zealand has
its own accent, so sometimes I struggled to understand people. This stage lasted for about a month and a half
for me. During that time, I tried many different ways to cope and move forward. I looked for the spiciest food I
could find, and I talked to my Thai friends whenever I could. But whenever they left, I felt lonely and isolated
again. It was like I had taken one step forward, only to fall back again.
The third stage is Gradual Adjustment. During this stage, I started to feel less worried and became more
confident speaking English. I still missed home and Thai food, but I was slowly getting used to my new life. I
also started to understand my host family better. We became more comfortable with each other and started opening up more. Sometimes they would point out small things that I could improve, and instead of getting upset, I tried to think about them and adjust. For example, wearing pyjamas. In Thailand, I was used to
wearing pyjamas all day. People usually only wear pyjamas when they go to bed. It was a small thing, but it
was another difference I had to get used to. This stage was around my third to fourth month.
The fourth stage is Adaptation and Biculturalism. This started around my fourth month. After a two-week
school holiday, I felt like I had rebooted myself. When school started again, I became more confident. I started
talking more, joking around with my friends, and I wasn’t as afraid of making mistakes when speaking English. I
feel really proud of myself when my friends laugh at my jokes. Sometimes I even surprise myself! I also started
to understand the New Zealand lifestyle better. Even the food, which I found quite plain at first, started to taste
better to me. And surprisingly. I started enjoying things I didn’t understand before, like going for walks in the
bush on weekends. I think the biggest change was that I stopped comparing everything to what I used to. I
started accepting that things can be different without being better or worse. At this point I feel like I can enjoy
both cultures. I can still miss Thai food and my life in Thailand, but I can also feel comfortable and happy living
here.
The fifth stage is Re-entry Shock. This is the stage when you return home, and realise that home isn’t exactly
the same as you expected it to be. I haven’t actually gone back to Thailand yet, but I think I have already
started to experience this stage. As I get closer to the end of my exchange. I have started counting down the
days until I go home. I’m preparing to book my flight, and I’ve already started thinking about saying goodbye to
my friends. It’s strange because at the beginning, I couldn’t wait to go home. I missed my family, and especially
Thai food. But now, when I think about leaving New Zealand, I realise that I’m going to miss this place too.
Especially Leia, my dog. I’m trying to keep my eyes and mind as open as possible because I don’t want to miss
even a single moment of my time here.
So, if you ask me, “Have I overcome culture shock?” ... Maybe that isn’t the right question. Maybe the better
question is, “How did I get through it?”. I think that’s what being an exchange student is really about. When I
was preparing to come here, I thought it would be simple. I thought, “I’m just changing where I sleep and
playing games somewhere else, right?” But I never imagined that I would go through so many different
emotions. From excitement, to loneliness, to frustration, and belonging. I learned that when something is
different, it does not necessarily mean right or wrong. Life isn’t always black and white. Sometimes it simply
means that we are looking at and experiencing life from a different perspective. I guess that’s the funny thing
about culture shock is you can miss home while you’re away, and then miss the place you left when you finally
go home. Maybe getting lost isn’t always a bad thing. Being lost means you don’t know where you are, what
you should do, or which direction to take. But once you understand everything, you’re no longer lost. You’re on
a journey. And that’s what this exchange has been for me.